Falcons are the golden gods of onside kicks

Atlanta Falcons

The Atlanta Falcons are a bad football team but are elite at one thing: Recovering onside kicks.

This season has not been kind to the Atlanta Falcons. After achieving Jeff Fisher 7-9 B.S. a season ago, the team falls to 3-9 this year and can only dream of being Jeff Fisher 7-9 B.S. this season. Hoping to achieve mediocrity is where the bar is at for this lackluster NFC South football team. They lost again on Thanksgiving night to the archrival New Orleans Saints, but they were great at one thing.

The Falcons nearly pulled off a Thanksgiving night miracle at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome by recovering not one, not two, but three onside kicks in a row. Okay, just two, because the first one was waved off because wide receiver Russell Gage was offsides, but whatever. This was the 2019 Falcons at their absolute apex and it was everything the world needed to see this evening.

So Falcons placekicker Younghoe Koo had missed a field goal and a PAT early in the ball game. We were not expecting him to give us the greatest onside kicking clinic the sport of football has ever seen, but here we are. Nobody could get that ball 10 yards past the Saints better than Koo tonight. Linebacker Foye Oluokun recovered the first two, including the one that didn’t count.

After a 43-yard Koo made field goal to bring the game within one possession, Atlanta attempted yet another onside kick. While the Saints and everybody still watching football knew that the Falcons were going to attempt another one, they couldn’t stop linebacker Kemal Ishmael from recovering yet another onside kick for the Dirty Birds. It was literally the coolest thing ever.

Did any of those three recovered onside kicks help the Falcons win? Absolutely not, as the Falcons offensive line should not be allowed to eat turkey this evening, as they let quarterback Matt Ryan get sacked nine times tonight. NINE TIMES. Even Ed Rooney couldn’t believe it and neither could Katie Bueller.

It was the type of day that Ryan threw picks to a defensive lineman and got thrown to the ground like a ragdoll by said defensive lineman. He turned the ball over like he was Philip Rivers or Jameis Winston. Ryan is bound to be covered in bruises tomorrow. But his team’s special teams unit, now that was special. It deserves an award, but not a W, because you lost, you damn dirty Falcons.

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